Film Review - Laserblast (1978)

...when a movie is so good that it defines a genre...

What genre you ask? Well, it's got elements of Sci-Fi, some teen movie, and some stick-it-to-the-man moments, but this film is undeniably

Seventiesploitation.

Yeah, the word really doesn't look as good written out like that. You know what I mean. This film loves the seventies, and all of those tropes that make films from that era distinctive. There are nonsensical sci-fi plot lines, bad special effects and makeup, hell, the movie takes a break in the middle for a fucking pool party. On top of that, the movie is so excited to exist in the seventies that our protagonist, for nearly two-thirds of the movie, doesn't bother wearing a shirt. Oh, and he drives a sweet van, and the inept police of the small town are potheads, oh, and the love scene in the film is scored by a sexy jazz flute. I've made my point.

The Premise

Our protagonist, ladies and gentlemen.

This film is your average, downtrodden boy finds a lasergun in the desert kind of story. Apparently some aliens (who look like the children of ET and a dinosaur) leave a wrist-mounted lasergun behind for our shirtless protagonist to find. The lasergun, along with a magical amulet that allows him to control the gun, somehow take control of his mind? So, when he's asleep the gun turns him into a zombie/mutant thing that seeks revenge on his enemies? Wait, now the aliens are chasing him, trying to get the gun back?

You'll notice that I'm using a lot of question marks there. I'm as confused as you are, dear readers. The movie doesn't make much sense. But hey, who cares about that? We've got a POOL PARTY!!!!!! 

But seriously, that's about it. I watched the whole thing, I took notes, and I still don't understand the story.

The Review

Yeah, it's something like this.

I'm not going to lie to you and say that the film is good. It's not. However, it is a mindless romp through our most cherished decade, and hey, there are lasers. The most noteworthy aspect of the film, besides appearing in an episode of MST3K, is the aliens' animation, which is smooth and well done (even if the aliens themselves look like crap). So, if Seventiesploitation doesn't sounds like your cup of tea, it might be worth checking out the riffed version, but otherwise, I think you're safe in skipping this one.