Friday, December 29, 2006


...the royal handicap was set to nought divided by zero equals one thing we all have in common room is a nice place to have dinner will be served at the usual time for one more thing from the movie on the top shelf broken from the weight of the books another criminal and the city is made safe containing gold and silver at the back of the vault was nearly eight feet have been in the shoes all day to get some shopping done with my homework and ready to go to bed of beautiful roses and pansies from texas telling me how to live my life on the sea can be quite difficult shot here on the par four maids went about their work after the butler had entered the tunnel and we all make a wish that Kenneth will return from the great war made upon thy neighbors all gathered around the scene of the crime that prices have gone so high until it was made sure that the royal handicap was set to nought divided by zero equals...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

A Shower-Born Revelation

So I was in the shower a few days ago, musing over the fact that I can't, and have never been able to, quite get the order of the months right. This isn't the important part (besides, when I have to I can always count them out on my hands). The important bit of this revelation is that the months' numbers are off.

I realized that I could recall the order of the last few months with relative ease...why is that? I wondered absently. The answer hit me like a drop of water from the showerhead.

it's because they're already numbered.

September - from the roman septem- for seven.
October - from the roman octo- for eight.
November - from the roman novem- for nine.
December - from the roman decem- for ten.

I had never realized this before two days ago...and it blew my mind. What also blew my mind was that the numbers are apparently two off.

I found out later that this is because the roman calendar, from which these names are all derived, began in March instead of January. In fact, july and august used to have similarly prefixed names, but were later renamed for roman emperors (July for the month Julius Caesar was born, and August for Augustus).

Anyway, I found it interesting, but you don't have to.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Trouble at Santiago Point - VI

Part VI - Trouble at the Pitch Black Shirt Shack

The old man had been taken care of easily enough. The last bullet in his pistol was exactly what he needed to make some peace and quiet for himself.

Stepping over the corpse of the ex-wizard, One-Eye-Jim surveyed his surroundings and, for the first time in a while, felt content. It wasn't the silence, the kill, or the pristine beauty of the meadow before him; rather, it was the return of the burning need for revenge which had lit the fire in his soul for so much of his life. With newfound direction in life, he set out to search for clues as to who had buried him this time.

Before long, he found himself staring at an old wooden sign, hanging by rusted nails from the limb of an elm tree.

There came a grim thought, suddenly juxtaposed with the recurring image of California,


The sign before him read, "MEDIEVAL FAIRE"

The End?

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

rally round yourself
as a wall round a fortress
like a wall round the country
who cares not of its neigbors

lay yourself aground
as the beasts in the forests
like the monks in their towers
and for once enjoy the view

open yourself
as an open drawbridge
like a courtyard of stone
and see the wealth within

Sunday, December 3, 2006

Trouble at Santiago Point

Part V - Trouble at Ye Olde Parallel Narrative

About five feet up from another one of his early graves, and customarily with only one more foot to go, One-Eye-Jim was tired of eating dirt.

Sure, those weaklings in Texas kept telling him that he only had to dig, that eating the dirt was completely pointless...but who's dead now, texas weaklings? That's right, the texas weaklings. Although, he was fairly grateful for the layer of topsoil he was currently ingesting; sixty pounds of clay is hard to keep down. And with unrivaled tenacity, he kept on eating.

With unrivaled tenacity, the Wizard waited...stared at the stone...and hoped.

Jim hoped that he was close. He hadn't breathed air in nearly five hours...heh, that was another thing the weaklings had preached, breathing.

The breath was caught in the Wizard's throat. He watched as the ground stirred, then rumbled, then erupted in a shower of debris...and when the cloud of dust cleared, he knew he had not been led astray. The man he'd waited so many years for was emerging, face first, out of the very earth below him.

Jim emerged, finally, coughing up a stone which had been laid atop his grave.

The stone landed at the Wizard's feet. Ecstatic, the Wizard cried, "The stone of Anadarko! The prophecy is complete!"

Completely oblivious to the old man behind him, jumping around and shouting of stones, One-Eye-Jim adjusted his eyepatch, knocked the dirt out of his ears, and for the first time, heard the shouts and ramblings of an old man who seemed to be wearing a halloween costume.

"Ugh, where am I? California?"

The End?!