Saturday, September 20, 2008

Epic Limerick - The Secular Tragedy Part III of III

For a better reference, see Part I and Part II

The end of our tale is at hand
and so, dear readers, come stand
at the foot of the mount
and my words you will count
among the wisest of those in the land

dejected and fearing the worst
his emotional wounds needing nursed
so he wandered alone
without cellular phone
and wondered at why he'd been cursed

after surveying dozens of places
and seeing the horrified faces
at one who'd done wrong
endured this torment so long
sadly buying his beer by the cases

and just as he thought to give in
and take his own life with a pin
that he'd stab through his heart
so that it shall never start
in his chest to beat ever again

but a dart was then stuck in his arm
which erased all his thoughts of self-harm
a blowgun he spotted
as his limb's blood was clotted
passed out when the dart worked it's charm

suddenly they found him awake
in a cottage not far from a lake
shouting, "You're one of us!"
he, in a state of nonplus
as giddy villagers started to shake

they said, "Yes, we've heard of your story,"
"of the details both lurid and gory"
you're the best that there is
at getting with kids
and here you can reap your due glory

yes, a village of pedos he'd found
and the -philia there with could abound
appalled and confused
for they'd shaken his views
that here, awful habits were sound

for miles you could hear the men sing
as he became their philosopher-king
using his powers for good
(at least, when he could)
though he needed to mend one last thing

other villages were then swiftly slaughtered
and his men ran away with their daughters
he laughed at them now
as he wiped off his brow
and pulled flaming boats free from their cotters

he lived there in peace for a while
enjoying the heights of new freedom and style
before passing away
MacMuffin was able to say
"never so proud to pedophile"

The End.

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