Sunday, November 26, 2006

Procrastination Now!

Here's another one I've dug from the vault, but it still stays as relevant as ever.

“Procrastinate now, don’t put it off”
-Ellen Degeneres
As far back as I can remember in my scholastic career I have been a procrastinator. Some may call this practice reprehensible, and indeed many—even those who indulge in the habit themselves—have made the case that nothing good can come of waiting until the last minute. I am here to refute these claims, and shine the blinding light of truth unto those who put down putting-off. My goal in life is to show all citizens of Earth that procrastination is not a bad habit, but instead, when in the hands of a true procrastinator, it can become art.
I have noticed one significant change between high school and the collegiate life that I’d like to address first: most of the students that I’ve met here do not take procrastination seriously. This statement may seem like a paradox, but when you take last-minute work as seriously as a true artist does, then everything else just becomes laziness. For me, procrastination is not about being lazy; it is simply the best way that I feel that things can be done. Around here I find a different trend among the students: they will wait until the night/morning before the assignment is due, but then won’t sit down and make a real effort to produce a quality piece of work. Kids these days will put the minimum amount of effort into a paper or assignment just so they will get some sleep, and consequently, a mediocre grade. A true artist, however, knows that sleep is greatly overrated and also that a chance to create a masterpiece comes only once in a while. A true artist will pour their soul into that work, because at 5:30 am, when there’s nothing but coffee and Red Bull racing through your veins, your soul is free for you to give.
While we’re on the topic, Red Bull is a god sent nectar, fueling dreams and giving hearts the courage to beat on. This has always been my motto, along with “everybody wang-chung tonight”, and it is because of the help of large quantities of the aforementioned stimulant that I survived high school with only minor heart attacks along the way. Coffee, “energy drinks”, and cheese pizza rolls have carried me through countless research papers, art projects, and gargantuan physics assignments. During the last month of my senior year I could usually be found by following the trail of empty Red Bull cans I seemed to leave in my wake (although I strongly advocate not littering). I am sure that ten out of ten doctors will agree that this is not a healthy way to live, but some of my best work has come from this period. Red Bull and other “Procrastination Aids” also help by keeping the important parts of the mind sharp as a razor, while sleep deprivation brings out the maximum creativity in the rest.
I know what you’re thinking, and yes, it is currently 3:46 am, I have classes starting at eight, this is due in less than six hours, and I’ve had three hours of sleep in the last twenty-four hours…and truthfully, I wouldn’t have it any other way.


  1. I am reading Ishmael- per your recomendation.

  2. Yes! It will change your life. I have the sequel also if you want to read that. And tell kathleen to read it.